Crossing the Street.

Assertive is a personal goal that I've been trying to work on all semester. And as I was crossing the street today, I noticed that I was walking a little slower. I thought about my past experiences crossing the street, and how my friends have expressed to me (a common belief I hold as well) how guilty they feel crossing the street. But the rules are to yield to pedestrians. (and I admit sometimes I do and sometimes I don't) But I was just thinking unless I'm purposely trying to cross the street slowly to piss off other drivers, I should not feel guilty in having to cross the street. It's a right. And I think, no wonder we are a culture where assertiveness can be labeled as "bitchy."

I've always been taught that I have no control over other's attitude (to a certain degree) actually more specifically I've been told that I have control over my attitude and I can choose to react to a certain situation one way or another. Then why should I feel guilty if the driver is irritated at me and decides to express it with a honk? They are in control of their emotions, and if I'm purposely not trying to upset anyone, then it should not make me feel responsible, or in this case guilty. It is my right.

Perhaps I've atrophied this manner, but if it's something I've learned in the pass about personalities is that you can apply one small way in which people handle things to the way in which they live life. For example if one is the sort to get motivated about a certain subject study it, and then forgets about it, this may indicate that this person gets involved easily with a lot of passion in the beginning but it dies out.

Another thing I realized today was that love has no expectations and is accepting. It made me think, that perhaps to stop being so hard on myself and find a way to love myself is to stop having qualifications, simple acceptance and forgiveness. To have many expectations is to be disappointed as I find in my past relationship. Perhaps this is how I conduct my relationships with others---because that's how I conduct it with myself.

Interesting concept but I have class in two minutes.